Fragile Heart chp. 3

Chapter 3 – A crossing of paths

He was standing at the deck of the ship, staring into the flaming sunset in the distant horizon. The wind played in his loose hair and the bangs covered his scarred eye.

There were just something inside him that made him feel uneasy and uncertain. Ever since he left The Jasmine Dragon back in Ba Sing Se. He couldn't quite explain it but it was something. Some sort of conflicted feeling. It just didn't seem right.

He went inside under the deck and into his chamber. "Fire Lord, we're closing in on Ember Island and we'll be there in just a couple of hours. You should get your things." "Thank you." "And Fire Lord?" The soldier stopped midway out the door and looked back at the boy. "You are certain you don't want any of the servants to join you?" "My mind is set, I need some time alone."

Now, after his visit at Ba Sing Se, he was more certain than ever that he really needed some time alone to clear his mind and soul. Something his uncle had said back then, had made a deep impression on him and his thoughts just kept wandering around.

"Very well then." The Soldier left and Zuko was now all by himself in his chamber. He sat down on the bed resting his head in his hands.

"Stupid feelings." He groaned and dropped down on the bed staring into the ceiling. "Why can't I understand them? I knew I should've invited Uncle to come with me, he always has a way of making things clear to me."

He gave a weak smile. Somehow he thought his uncle knew him better than he knew himself. But the meaning of Ying, Yang and opposites he just couldn't make sense of.

Why did those girls have to come and interrupt them? He gave a faint smile. Katara. She was the reason he decided to propose to Mai. He had seen how happy and in love she and Aang were.

And at the moment he had felt a little jealousy. No, not a little, but a deep throbbing jealousy, tearing him up inside. He had thought of it as nothing more than the jealousy that they could love each other so much, while he and Mai couldn't.

But when he saw her again today. It was something. He remembered their short time together, the time with the gang, and the time before.

How mean he'd been. Hurting Katara and breaking her trust for him. There were still some tension between them as he didn't quite believe she'd forgiven him.

Even though he'd saved her back at the fight with Azula. And she had healed him and saved his life too. She even cried for him. He bit his bottom lip and shut his eyes tightly. "What on earth is going on with me? Where do all these feelings come from?" He moaned and threw a pillow through the room.

A loud crash made him rise from his position on bed and he walked up to the ruined painting. It was a painting of them all: Aang, Sokka, Katara, Toph, Suki and himself. They looked so happy.

A faint smile appeared on his face as he touched the painting were Katara stood. A flood of guilt came crashing in on him and the smile fainted as quickly as it had appeared, and he put the ruined painting down at the small table.

"I'm really sorry for all the pain I've put you through." He whispered to himself, picked up his bags and went back up on deck.


* * *


She felt relieved now that she was finally alone by herself. It was somehow easier to clear her mind when she was alone.

Even though Toph were a good support through a time like this, good at making her forget the conflict between her own feelings, it was even better now that she were on her own.

The ship had been at sea for little over a day now and she still had no idea where she was going. She just knew she needed to be alone for some time.

Ever since she left The Jasmine Dragon she couldn't help but worry a little about Zuko. Even though they hadn't been all that good at visiting the Fire Nation often, she knew it was highly unusual for Mai and Zuko to be apart.

She kept wondering about the fact that something was wrong between them, that Toph may have been right about the fight-part. But she could not just start assuming things. She knew how much she hated it herself, and with Zuko. Well, he surely must hate it when people started assuming tings without speaking with him about first.

So she tried her best not think that much about it, even though it was difficult. For some reason she still couldn't get herself to trust him like the others could.

He had betrayed her trust and hurt the one she loved and that simply weren't easy to forgive. A wound from such a betrayal needed time to heal.

But they did make quite the duo back in the days. She laughed a little at the few memories they shared together. It had always been something with her and Zuko. After a while Toph and Iroh had stopped caring about their weird behaviour around each other, but the rest of the crew still found it annoying and confusing.

And then there was this moment at the fire nation palace when Zuko fought Azula. They both saved each others lives, but still after that she hadn't exactly told him that she'd forgiven him or something.

She wrapped the blanket closer around herself and kept staring into the sunset. After the fight she had felt something. Something that could not be explained with human words. She never really figured out what that feeling was or why she felt it, but she had just brushed it off as a feeling of forgiveness and trust.


* * *


The big holiday house at Ember Island were still the same as from when the gang hid there from Azula and the Fire Lord. Some of the damages from fighting Aang were still there, but most of it had been repaired.

For some reason he had never taken Mai to the house, they had never been on a vacation together actually. This was his first official vacation since becoming the new Fire Lord. It was weird really, being here in this house thinking about all the memories he and the others had made together.

He had been her by himself for three days now and it started to get a little dull. He couldn't bare being alone. The old Zuko, the Zuko that still searched for his honour and spent three years of his life hunting down the Avatar, would have liked it this way.

But the new Zuko, Fire Lord Zuko which now had friends and people he cared about, couldn't bare this annoying loneliness and silence.

He sighed and decided that maybe a walk on the beach would help him sort his feelings out, after all, these past couple of days hadn't done him anything good. He had just become more and more confused.


* * *


How she ended up at this very beach she didn't know. All she knew was that yesterday she announced to Toph's servants that she wanted to take the small boat and set off on her own. At first they had refused to leave her, Toph's orders.

But after a great deal of persuading they had agreed that maybe it was for the best that she travelled alone from now on.

And so it had become. After a day alone at sea she had ended up here, at Ember Island. She now sat down by the beach, pressing her knees close to her chest, watching how the waves pushed and pulled in a dancing rhythm with the wind.



"Katara?" She was the last person he had expected to see sitting by the rocks on the private beach that belonged to the Fire Lord's summer house.

She turned around, just as surprised to see him. "Zuko! I didn't know you were going to be here." She got up on her knees to leave, but before she could do so he had placed himself sitting next to her.

"It's ok. It was getting kind of boring being here all alone." He looked at her and she smiled vaguely before relaxing and settling back down.

"So why are you here? Alone I mean? Why aren't Mai with you? Thought you to would be engaged or married by now or whatever." She tried to seem as uninterested as possible, but her eyes told no lies.

Zuko looked at her and could see the curiosity shine from those sparkly blue eyes of hers, he was tempted to smile, but didn't. Instead he just looked down on the sand and shrugged.

"I thought so too. I actually proposed to her a few days ago, but she turned me down and broke things of. Told me that we weren't meant to be and that she thought I'd realised the same thing. Apparently I didn't. So I left the Fire Nation to clear my head and to try to understand some confusing feelings, that's why I'm here."

He looked at her, waiting for some sort of expression to expose what she felt about these news being thrown at her, but instead of the usual, concerned Katara-look, he got a smile and an understanding glimpse appeared in her eyes.

"I guess you and I are in the same boat then. Sort of. Only Aang did not break up with me, I broke up with him. I know he's what I want, but he's not what I need. And my feelings towards him have been shifting like the tides. I've never felt this confused before in my life. So I just had to get away. To get some time to myself trying to figure out what it is that I seek. These feelings and thoughts are driving me crazy, you know?"

He nodded understandingly, he was well aware of what she must be going through right now. He had it quite the same way. And yes, guess you could say they were in the same boat. Both confused about their feelings and needs in life.



"I'm not that good with words, so finding the right thing to say right now is quite the challenge for me, so please bare with me." He frowned as he searched his mind for an opening-sentence while he could feel her confused look staring back at him in expectation.

"I'm.. Um.. I'm really sorry for the pain I put you through back then. I mean, betraying your trust and all, at several occasions I think actually. I never meant for it to happen, I just weren't myself. Still going through some sort of metamorphosis at the time and all my choices became a little, well.. I didn't actually think every choice I took through, I just took 'em as they appeared before me and hoped it was the right thing to do."

He looked at her, searched her face for some sort of emotion or hint to tell him what she felt, but couldn't find anything. She was as blank as the cloudless afternoon sky above them.

"I never meant to hurt you Katara, and I understand why it took you so long to trust me. And I understand if you still don't trust me, but give me a chance and I'll prove to you that I'm not the same guy as I was two years ago."



He was completely taken off-guard as she flung her arms around his neck and embraced him in a warm hug. Her face was buried in his collar as she mumbled.

"I'm sorry I never gave you the chance you deserved to prove yourself. I'm sorry it took me until the arrival of Sozin's comet to understand how faithful and changed you really were. I should've given you the benefits of the doubt, but I didn't. And I'm sorry."

"Hey, I thought I was the one apologizing here!" He said in a soft voice, resting his hands on her thick, brown hair. A silent laugh escaped her lips as she leaned a little back to take a look at his face.

"I'm sorry I betrayed you." He said and smiled at her. She returned the smile and hugged him again. "It's ok." She whispered silently.



They stayed like that for awhile. Embraced in a hug that didn't seem to last long enough. She felt so safe in Zuko's arms, holding her in a tight and comforting grip.

He could've swore she felt his heart beating faster and faster inside of his chest. This unexpected hug had left him with even more thoughts and confusion. But at least it was a sign that she didn't hate him anymore, and that was a good thing.

He really liked having her in his arms. Holding her slender body against his and smelling the scents of ocean and lavender and her own personal odour. It made him relaxed and calm.

No matter how comfortable and right this seemed to be, he knew it was wrong. Katara was Aang's girl. Well, not anymore, but still. This wasn't right. He wanted to pull away, but his body had gone completely stiff and refused to move.

"If you want.. You can stay at the summer house with me until you manage to figure out what it is that you seek, or until you feel like moving on again." He then said after a time of silence.

She gently pulled away from him and smiled. "Thank you, Zuko. I'd like that." "Besides, It would be nice to have another human being around me, after days of isolating myself." He laughed.

She rose from the sand and he felt a little disappointed, but tried to push that feeling away. He was not going to allow himself to think of her as anything else than a friend. Wouldn't take advantage of the situation. They were both vulnerable and in need of some desperate comfort, he was not going to allow himself to get carried away by his own conflicted feelings. She needed a friend, and so did he.

"I'll go get my stuff." "I'll help you" he hurriedly put in and got up to follow her, but she brushed him of by simply putting a hand on his arm and smiling. "I think I'll do fine on my own, besides it's not that much to carry so I think I'll manage." "Um, ok.. I'll meet you back at the house then?" "Ok, see you in a while" "Yea.."

They went their separate ways, both in possession of new even more confusing feelings than before.